Loneliness: A silent epidemic of modern society

Recently, Albinder Dhindsa, CEO of Instant Delivery giant “Blinkit”, shared a post on his X handle.

The chat was basically a snapshot of a conversation between a customer and the customer support executive. The date of this chat is New Years’ Eve. This is how it goes:

“Hi my name is Akash. How can I help you today?” the executive wrote to the customer.

“I ordered chips and drinks for my new years party from your app but something is missing from my order,” the customer replied.

“Can you please tell me what is missing from your order?” Akash replied to the customer.

“Friends to party with. Can the delivery rider stay back?” he asked.

The post elicited mixed reactions from X users. Although Albinder himself posted the snapshot in jest with a laughing emoji, things quickly turned serious with a few users lamenting a similar situation in their life.

“This is more sad than funny. There are people actually like him(aka Me) who have bought things to party but no one to party with,” one user wrote.

“This is actually sad and depressing,” another user wrote.

“This is not for to make fun,” a third user wrote.

And so we decided in the first week of 2024, to dive deep into this subject and share with you all, how underrated the silent epidemic of loneliness really is in our modern society.

You see, our society today is like a complex web with aspirations. The advent of technology has replaced human connections with gadgets and, this shift has led to a rise of psychological ambiguity among our generations impacting our understanding of personal needs and fostering a sense of distrust towards the society we live in.

In a recent interview, famous journalist Palki Sharma shed light on the health implications of isolating yourself from the world –which can increase the risk of various diseases like diabetes, heart issues, dementia, and other personality disorders.

Loneliness is as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day she reported.

Interestingly, both the UK and US governments have recognized loneliness as a major threat which can make your cells inflamed due to the constant stress mode called the “fight or flight” mode. 

The generation which grew up with social media from 2012 to 2018 is apparently considered to be at the highest risk of isolation. The rapid widening of the interaction gap with this age unfolds as a narrative of human evolution raising an alarm about the impact of social media on our wellbeing.

Social media has emerged as an important component for connection, communication and sharing lives. It stands as a successive lapse in a broader context of an overarching problem of migration among previous generations in search of better economic opportunities.

The migration brought an irreversible change in the social fabric of families and societal structure, underpinning the rise of dependency on online interactions. The vast distances between continents have propelled a complex world of social connectivity however in contemporary times prevalent issues associated with social media have become more pronounced.

The entire generation lacks a supportive umbrella of their evolutionary continuum often resorting to avenues like social media for validation. The current generation faces an evolutionary risk of exposure with a notable vulnerability to bullying that further reinforces social isolation. 

In urban settings, the paradoxical lifestyle persists –as work obligations demand connecting on digital tools such as Zoom calls. Although professional engagement enables connectivity, it concurrently distances individuals from direct societal interactions causing everyday issues from procrastination to personal hygiene or greater problems such as increasing dependency on intoxicants.

The dual nature of adult life has an impact on children too –who are facing mental health challenges such as depression and anxiety. According to UNICEF, one out of seven young adults between the age group of 15-24 face invisible struggles in their quest for social acceptance.

Loneliness is not confined to a specific age group as it impacts the senior population as well for other distinct reasons such as the loss of a significant other or children moving away, especially in the face of a degenerating disease due to old age.

According to the Longitudinal Aging Study in India, dementia affects approximately 7.4 percent of the population aged 60 and above accounting for roughly 8.8 million individuals. This prevalence not only distorts cognition but also heightens the vulnerability of loneliness. 

While loneliness is a common experience for both young adults and elders in the urban areas, it is a mere superficial cover concealing a deeper suppressive tendency within a wider spectrum of human desires.

In essence, loneliness might be a symptom of unmet emotional and psychological needs reflecting the more complex intricacies of human desires. BBC journalist, Zaria Gorvett highlights that human beings are deeply interconnected and isolation may cause a loss of sense of identity. Some of the other symptoms of loneliness include: 

1. Delaying attending to the needs of others or completing essential tasks because of a slipping sense of responsibility. This continuous procrastination not only hampers productivity but also causes fatigue and tiredness
2. Indulging in long and warm showers reflecting a delay in the sense of urgency for social interactions and ironically craving the warmth that comes with social interactions
3. Escaping from the harsh realities of life through binge watching while sacrificing adequate sleep and timely meals
4. Confronting social conflicts with heighted states of emotional arousal where individuals either take the “fight or flight” mode while engaging in scrutiny of the circumstances surrounding the conflict during the whole time
5. Developing an unhealthy coping mechanism such as overeating to fill the emotional void potentially serving as a trigger towards weight gain and reliance on fast foods

If you recognize any signs, it is possible you may be experiencing loneliness. However here are some tips to tackle loneliness: 

1. Engaging in volunteering activities is an excellent way to shift the focus from self-isolating tendencies and foster a sense of connection. By participating in meaningful work, you can begin to develop a sense of empathy with others while discovering the beauty in the world around you 
2. Although daunting at first, immersing in social setting by taking small steps with supportive group can be a reassuring ground to overcome social barriers –allowing you to step out of your comfort zone encouraging personal growth and expanding your interactions with various ways
3. Reconnecting with an old friend through phone call can be a super way to alleviate loneliness. It is perfectly okay to explain your situation allowing them to understand what you are going through while offering a supportive connection 
4. If reaching out to the loved one feels overwhelming then consider reaching out to a professional therapist who can provide guidance and support in a variety of challenges such as alleviating severe biased attitudes in social interactions through actionable steps towards improving your well-being 
5. Above all, practicing self-love is crucial towards perceiving yourself. While others can offer support and guidance no one is better equipped or responsible for understanding every facet of your life. They can certainly drive you in the right direction but at the end of the day the responsibility lies with you 

In a nutshell, loneliness is multifaceted and can be painful sometimes. From milder tendencies such as finding unhealthy coping mechanisms to severe ones like suicide –loneliness encompasses a spectrum of issues for people of all generations.

The rising number of suicides among students in India of 4.5 percent according to the National Crime Records Bureau highlights that the loneliest individuals may not always seek help. However, with increased awareness, it becomes possible to take steps towards human connectedness which we all yearn for.

If you have been feeling lonely or isolated and are unsure what to do to change your mental state, the easiest way to begin ‘recovering’ from such a debilitating state of mind, is to take immediate action to engage with the world.

• This can be something as simple as deciding to have your evening coffee outdoors at a coffee house or café. Even packing your cuppa in a flask and sitting on a park bench as you take the time to take in the sights, ‘prana’ from life around you.. in the form of miscellaneous sights, sounds etc. from the commotion in the world can be therapeutic.
• Go get a massage, or a facial. If you don’t fancy that, try joining a gym or language classes, dance classes, cooking classes, hobby classes of anything in fact that you would fancy!
• The way to remedy a false state of being unworthy, unsupported, unwanted and unnoticed.. a state that loneliness can impose upon you.. can be overcome by a simple act of smiling at and engaging with the mailman, grocery store clerk, garbage man, delivery person, your neighbours!
• The people you need to interact with to feel grounded in the ease of your life are actually all around you. All you need to do is reach out with a simple hello.

Feeding birds, caring for plants, caring for pets, volunteering at an old age home, soup kitchen, local ‘gurudwara‘, church or temple or any place of worship for that matter can be very helpful in disconnecting yourself from negative self talk that keeps you bound to isolation while feeling perpetually unfulfilled with it.

Hope this helps! 🙂

References: 

1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QL8PeQjgdhk
2. https://www.firstpost.com/vantage/loneliness-may-increase-risk-of-early-death-study-says-vantage-with-palki-sharma-31142
3. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/education/news/one-out-of-seven-in-15-24-years-of-age-feels-depressed-in-india-unicef/articleshow/86780329.cms
4. https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2021/09/what-getting-old-really-feels-like/
5. https://www.fic.nih.gov/News/GlobalHealthMatters/march-april-2023/Pages/new-estimate-dementia-prevalence-magnitude-india-challenge.aspx
6. https://www.moneycontrol.com/news/trends/blinkit-shares-conversation-between-customer-and-executive-on-new-years-eve-ceo-reacts-11988231.html