First believe YOU CAN!


Deep down, everyone dreams of achieving greatness. Not everyone achieves that dream because not everyone wants to commit to that dream.

Wanting a better life isn’t enough. You need to get down to building it.

Most people are aware their life is out of alignment with their dreams. They just don’t admit it. It’s easier for them to keep living each day with a false identity.

Because lying to yourself is easier than getting down and dirty building your dreams.

As long as your dreams exist inside your head, you can reassure yourself every minute of the hour, every hour of the day and every day of the week that some day it will come true.

Someday. I will have what I dreamt of. Some day….

But the thing every successful person knows is:

  1. When you actually get down to putting in the work building your dream, you feel the weight of everything that is stake. Every single second of the day and every single minute of the hour, 8760 hours a year!
  2. Successful people know that it takes truckloads of courage and determination to keep moving towards your dream irrespective of what life throws at you during the process.
  3. At every step you feel you’re not going to make it and you still need to take that step and keep moving forward, step by step without stopping.

But when just you’re dreaming about it. All you are filled with is hope.

“It will happen some day…. It will happen one day… “

Nope. It won’t ever happen until you’re dreaming about it and not busy thinking about what you need to do to make it happen, in the next minute or the next hour.

Either drop your dream or accept you’re not working towards it and then start working!

Are you living your dream? Are you where you always wanted to be?

If not, you’ve just taken the first step by admitting it.

Read on, your life gets better in the next 5 minutes. This is why majority of the people aren’t living their dreams.

You see, your dreams die in a very slow process. It doesn’t happen overnight. It happens slowly and happens in phases.

  • Risk Aversion Phase

See, most people aren’t willing to bet on themselves and find the idea of chasing their dreams too ‘risky’. People will risk living in pain their entire life, constantly dreaming instead of risking the pain of failure in the path to building their dreams. It all begins with being averse to the necessary risk involved in self improvement. It all begins with you not having the necessary faith in yourself to achieve the life your mind knows you want to feel fulfilled.

  • Disempowerment Phase

The result of this disempowering mentality is that people begin to cut corners in every area of their life. They just don’t feel they possess the power to do anything extraordinarily. “So why even bother?” they tell themselves. This mentality begins to creep into every area of your life like a disease. You begin to slack off at your job, your domestic responsibilities, social duties, your health and relationships. It’s so slow that you never even notice it.

  • Downward Spiraling Phase

After continuous risk aversion and disempowerment, you get so out of touch with your capabilities that life launches into a downward spiral which keeps pulling you further and further into the pit of dissatisfaction and denial. By this point, your dreams remain just that.. ‘dreams‘. A fictional idea of a life you could have had if only you’d stepped up to the challenge when you had the chance.

  • Denial Phase

In time, you become cynical of anyone and everyone trying to achieve their dreams goals and you become skeptical of succeeding at even trivial aspects of your life. You begin to radiate a negativity in the environment around you and people just don’t want to be around you anymore. Of course, you don’t realise at all what’s happening because you’re in denial that you are the source of your frustration.

  • ‘Crab’ Phase

Finally, this downward spiral leads you to pull other people back from achieving their goals like a crab pulling on the leg of another crab. This is because you know consciously or unconsciously that if others ‘make’ it, your own lies will be exposed. Your negative beliefs will be put under the scanner by everybody you’ve constantly been lying to and blaming for your failures.

  • Moment of Truth

Despite your cynicism, when someone from your life such as a friend, sibling, rival, goes for it and achieves her dream, your psyche is jolted awake to the reality of your life. At this point, the walls of your denial stand breached by others’ success. You can no longer live peacefully in the bubble of denial you created for your life. Deep within you, your lies stand exposed to your own self. You can either break free from this cycle of failure and change drastically or break up from your self completely.

  • Self Denial Phase

If you don’t break free from the cycle of disempowerment at this stage, you begin to break your relationship with your self. You plunge into the emotions of self denial and self hatred. You begin to drive away anyone who can help you because you begin to feel that the pit you’ve dug yourself into is permanent.

With each passing day, you begin unconsciously to feel undeserving and unworthy. You begin to feel that you deserve your pain and that “Pain is a way of Life”.

You begin denying yourself basic pleasures you reasonably deserve or indulge too much in them and this manifests in extreme ways. Toxic relationships, Obesity, Self Harm, Drug Abuse, Accidents, Addictions, Overwork, Drastic Austerity, every thing bad you can imagine.

No matter what you think, your drastic actions aren’t going unnoticed by people in your life. They are in fact, unconscious cries for help that the people in your life can see but your relationship with the self is so damaged by this point, you push away anyone who can help you.

  • Loss of Identity

At this point, a huge transformation occurs. It was imminent. And now it is permanent.

‘Drastic’ and ‘Massive’ are the keywords here. You will either rise from your ashes and turn over a new leaf or you will make the wrong choice and plunge into a permanent identity loss with extreme consequences.

People abandon their family and never return, fall into drug abuse, undergo sex change, religion change, sell off all their assets, fall into crime, fall into psychosis, everything drastic you can imagine and at both ends of the spectrum.

  • Establishment of New Identity

If you reached rock bottom in the ‘loss of identity’ stage and chose the right path for yourself, you have gifted yourself a new identity. The old identity has fallen away and this new identity shall grant you another chance to do things the right away and achieve personal greatness. This new identity is more in alignment with your inner truth.

However, if you made the wrong choice, this new identity will have to undergo the entire cycle of failure once more!

Now, you could be at any stage of this process but if you are committed to stepping back into your personal power, you need to start getting brutally honest with yourself. You need to start asking yourself some very tough questions.

What does life really mean to you?

What stops you from taking the necessary action towards living the life you want?

What fears are keeping you trapped?

I believe the FIRST reason people begin lying to themselves about what they really want from life, is a lack of self awareness.

Most people are unaware of their true capability. They are unaware of the negative beliefs they have imbibed unconsciously or consciously.

You won’t realize it until somebody can show you that you can do it.

The SECOND reason people aren’t living the life they truly want, is because they lack the necessary self discipline.

Most people lack the necessary patience to carry a goal from conception to completion

Most people have a dream but they don’t know what to do with it. They don’t know how to begin because they are surrounded by so many who tried and failed. People find it extremely hard to stay focused in adversity. They give up too easily.

Both of these problems can be solved permanently if someone shows the necessary intent.

I believe with the right coaching, guidance and self development methods, anyone who has the intent to succeed in life can. And I mean, succeeding irrespective of your background, personal circumstances, financial conditions or handicaps.

If you have the necessary intent to strive forward, I have the firepower you need to break down the barriers holding you down.

Love, Jay

Personal Coaching



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